Little Things
Little things done well make big things happen. We just did a big thing. 24 hours ago our youngest son was born. But it wasn’t without its preoccupations. The room was teeming with nurses and doctors, pediatricians and anesthesiologists. My wife had coded: again.
People talk about love, about sacrifice. The greatest love you could possibly show is to give your life for someone - to shed your blood. And my wife, Superwoman, shed a lot of it - 2100 mLs to be precise.
They say coding occurs when a patient loses over 800 or 900 mLs. My wife had doubled that number and some. They were concerned. But I wasn’t.
Something came over me. Some would say it was shock, but I saw it was God’s Spirit; and His Spirit would not allow me to fear. So, here are three keys to overcoming fear in a scary situation.
Have experience.
I mentioned that this was the 2nd time Superwoman had coded. Well, let me tell you about the first. Nearly 4 years ago, at this same hospital, with the same doctor, after the same surgery, I was asleep. Our 3rd child had been born. Safe, sound and beautiful. He was calm, but my wife wasn’t. She had been complaining about some pain. The nurses thought it was normal. It wasn’t. When I awoke, 12 hours after the baby had been born, our room was full. My wife was hurting. Her blood was clotting. The baby was sleeping. I had no idea what was going on. I had texted all of my friends and family hours earlier, letting them know that everything went well. Baby was here and mama was fine.
Things changed in an instant. They were pressing on her abdomen, trying to get all of the blood out. It wasn’t working. To keep from getting graphic, I’ll skip some parts (some may say I already got graphic… it was worse) - the next thing I knew, a team of nurses were wheeling my wife into another surgery - 12 hours after the first. I was scared. I don’t know if I’ve ever been scared like that before. I’ve felt silly fears - afraid of the dark as a kid, afraid of a coach as a player, afraid of an opp (I’m learning that means opponent). But this fear felt legitimate. This fear felt founded. I felt like my wife, Superwoman, was being taken from me. With two kids and 12-hour-old baby left behind. I didn’t know what to do. I cried. I called close friends. I called God. He heard my prayer.
Amidst my yelling, screaming and groaning, I felt something new. I felt a whisper. I felt God’s peace. “You rose Lazarus from the dead!” I exclaimed. “You walked on water!” I continued. “You did it before! Do it again!” I think I exclaimed. He did. In the midst of my screaming, in the well of my tears, I felt a voice in my heart and heard a word in my ear. “She’s healed.” “Good!” I continued. “Good.” I went to sleep. When I arose they were wheeling her back to the hospital room. She had coded, but she had been healed. God heard my prayer. I went to practice hours later (I still hadn’t processed what had happened) and cried real tears. I had had a life-altering experience that I hoped would never happen again. Cue - 4 years later. Same thing. When the nurses and doctors arrived this time, only minutes after the baby arrived, I knew the drill. I went to Jesus. I started praying and didn’t stop. Except this time, there was no yelling or screaming. I was simply indignant. Which leads me to point two. Rely on God’s Word.
Rely on (or read) God’s Word.
I had stumbled upon a verse in the Bible exactly one week before. Mark 9:23. “And Jesus said to him, ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” That verse stuck with me. But it wasn’t just the words, it was Jesus’ response to a man in need of a miracle. “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” - the verse before. This man was desperate. He was in need of attention. He was in search of a miracle. But he came at Jesus sideways. “If you can.” Imagine running into Bill Gates at McDonald’s, not having any money, he’s been paying for people’s meals, and saying to him, “Hey man, I’m out of money and my son is hungry. If you can, take pity on us and help us.” Bill Gates is a billionaire. He can afford a Happy Meal. Jesus is rich in mercy and money. He can heal our diseases. He can answer our prayers.
I had been reading, perusing and thinking about this verse for a week. So when an “If you can,” moment arose, I was ready. I was indignant. I knew Jesus could. So I recited every verse I could remember. I reminded God of every promise I could recall. Of the miracle He did years ago and of the miracle he performed minutes ago. I don’t remember hearing a voice this time, but I felt His peace. I heard His presence. I prayed that God would open my eyes to see.
The time in God’s Word just one week prior settled me. It gave me a point of reference that I didn’t know I would need. It set an anchor for my ever changing emotions. God’s Word calmed me down. In the midst of lies, guilt, chaos and confusion, relying on God’s word offered a string of hope that I could hold on to. He did it before, he could do it again. Read God’s word. Quick aside - I didn’t plan out that time to read, but I needed it. I was busy, so one morning when I woke up early, I grabbed by Bible, a pen and a pad and went on a walk. That’s when I ran into that verse. It doesn’t have to be planned. Give yourself space to explore the Word of God.
Believe.
When those nurses filled the room, I saw them with my eyes but I didn’t believe only what I saw. I knew there was something more. I prayed that God would open my eyes so I could see the angels that outnumbered them. The angels who were protecting her. I didn’t see them, but I knew they were there. The danger had subsided.
It’s one thing to read about a miracle. It’s a whole other thing to believe it. And with that experience, from years before, my faith grew. The fear tried to rear its ugly head, but faith wouldn’t allow it. It’s not like the fear wasn’t knocking, it just wasn’t allowed to come in. I had seen God do it before, I had read about Him doing other miracles, and I had experienced it first hand. But more than that, I believed Jesus could do it again. “Lord, I know you can. Do it. Let your will be done, but do it.” God did.
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